True Love: 3 Critical Character Traits

Posted: February 14, 2019
By: weadmin

We have established that different people have varied views and opinions on the attributes of true love. Many times, this is influenced by personal values, culture, and social conditioning. We brushed the surface with the Definition of Love: Understanding the Essence of Love, and here we continue the discussion by looking at 3 additional ingredients that characterize true love.

True Love Forgives

Let’s not fool ourselves, sometimes we get hurt and disappointed by the people we love and care about. As painful as that may be, we have to accept this as part of life’s journey. There might be instances where we are tempted to remind others of these wrongs, even after they have apologized. The fact is, it is human nature to want to do just that. Yet, forgiveness is not only an act of extending love to others but it is a gift that brings us peace and happiness when we are able to let go and heal the past. It also helps us to be free of bitterness and anger, which have proven to be hazardous to our health and wellbeing. Forgiveness might seem hard at first, and that’s fine, but like other characteristics of true love, forgiveness is also a deliberate decision.

Mindset is key

One beautiful thing about forgiveness in love is being able to develop the mindset to be forgiving, even before any hurtful act is committed. Yes, it is possible! The fact is true love chooses to forgive whether the offender is willing to receive the forgiveness or not. Furthermore, true love forgives whether the offender apologizes or not. It is important to note that, if we are truthful to ourselves, we must admit that every one of us has hurt someone at some point in our life. To err is human; only God is perfect and if He is willing to forgive us, why shouldnt we forgive others.

I can’t emphasize this enough! Keeping a record of the wrongs done in the past is not true forgiveness. Although we cannot help remembering, when we taunt others with their mistakes and “guilt trip” them about it we have not truly exercised forgiveness. If you find yourself struggling with this, consider finding ways to heal and move on. Having the mindset towards, and learning the art of forgiveness brings healing and peace. Weird as it may sound, true forgiveness is behaving as though the offender never wronged you. Relating to the person as if you have no memory of how they hurt you is real forgiveness.

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

Hebrews 8:12

This does not suggest that God has amnesia, it just means he will not relate with us based on the sins He has already forgiven. “Forgive and forget” doesn’t mean we literally forget, it means we don’t relate with them based on the memory of their previous faults.

True Love Trusts

Trust is one of the strongest characteristics of true love. Let’s face it, no relationship can truly thrive without a level of trust. It places great confidence and faith in a person without much doubt. Trust means believing the best in a person. Love always trusts, it is not seasonal or dependent on activities. Here’s a relationship building block for you! Forgiveness and trust walk hand in hand, and each is strengthened in the presence of the other.

Everybody reacts positively to love. Love respects trust and values loyalty. These are key ingredients in any relationship. Love is careful not to break the trust that is given. Although forgiveness is assured, it is careful not to hurt the other. It understands that trust is sacred, honors it in sincerity and gives no reason for doubt and suspicions. Reliability is also a form of trust; a lover strives to be a reliable person, someone that can be depended on at all times. A person who respects trust makes honesty a watchword and integrity a lifestyle. It also has confidence in the other to be honest, true and worthy.

True Love is Humble

Humility could be one of the most misunderstood characters of love. People have mistaken humility for passiveness or a low self-esteem.

Humility is knowing your identity, worth, and place but also understanding your limitations and being willing to allow those limitations to be enhanced by partnering with someone else. It is not deceiving yourself into believing you are greater that you actually are and closing your eyes to your faults and imperfections. The opposite of humility is pride and love is not proud.

Pride vs. Humility

Pride is thinking of yourself higher than you should to the point where it is detrimental to you and the people around you. Love is not haughty, it understands its needs and weaknesses and is willing to have them met. It is quick to accept its wrong and apologize without feeling any form of inferiority. After accepting mistakes, it doesn’t glory in them but is willing to change for the better. A lover does not mask flaws in arrogance and blames or put others down in order to feel superior.

Humility is “I was wrong, forgive me.” It doesn’t diminish your worth or tarnish your identity. Remember, you have to know your worth and identity independent of others before you can express humility. It is “you are better at this than me, go ahead and do this for the best results.” Instead of “I’m great at everything, much better than you, I don’t need you, I will do it all by myself.” Love is modest.

Final Thoughts

I don’t know about you but it is evident to me that holding the characteristics of forgiveness, humility, and trust, respect and loyalty is a great start to building any relationship. So, whether you are already in a relationship or on the hunt for a partner it is important to do your own self-assessment and sharpen up your skills for building and sustaining that strong love relationship.

Reference: 1 Corinthians 13